Firstly, the intention of this blog is to help others who have just lost a loved on to deal with the amotional as well as business demands that come about.
My mom left this planet in 2000 and at first it really seemed surreal. It was not "all of a sudden" because she had been ill for a while, but you never really do get "prepared" for the actual loss of a loved one. The loss of a mother is special because she is the person who you came through, gave you birth, and basically took complete care of you when you were helpless as a child. You really go through all different levels of grief.When you have just lost a loved one, there are several things that you need to do which I will begin to list here. Actually, I will take it step by step, because each one of these steps should be discussed and considered. If you have any questions or if I could help in any way contact me at (973) 337-2881, or email me at lovedone-blog@honoryou.com. Our website http://www.honoryou.com/ will also add some further information which may help during this time.
#1 Gather all the immediate family members that will be involved in the decision making of the final arrangements and begin making decisions together. Making decisions together is key because this will help to begin this entire process in an orderly, organized manner. Losing a loved one is a very emotional time for everyone involved, and the more minds that are working together will help to result in the most sound decisions. When there is not an organized decision process, what happens oftentimes is that a decision is made by someone, and then later on it is changed by other(s) family members because of various reasons. This leads to confusion and usually extra work and time spent on something that could have been avoided if there was unity in the decision that was made.
Now deciding who is involved in the decisions is another thing, but I have come to find a very simple process of determination which has proven to help many people. Those immediate family members, of appropriate age, who physically live with the loved one who is now gone would be involved, as well as any others who are going to be contributing financially to the obligations that will be due. These are the key people (core decision makers) that should be involved with the decisions. You may get advice from others, but the final decisions should usually only involve your core decision makers.
This is probably one the the best ways to start this entire process. Gathering the core decision makers together. Not only is this the best for the business side, but also for the emotional side. These people will help to provide comfort for each other just because they are making decisions together and supporting each other in this time of bereavement.
Since 2000, I have done several things that have really, really helped me to deal with her not being here with me. As I continue blogging, I will share the many ways that I have been able to deal with her not being here, and I will even share how I have made the best of what many consider the lowest points of their lives.
Once again, if you have any questions you may call me at (973) 337-2881, email lovedone-blog@honoryou.com or visit our website at http://www.honoryou.com/
Memorial Maker,
ReplyDeleteI just want to say how wise you are. The details you have provided are practical and based on a proven track record. I remember when my father transitioned off this planet, it was the first time I had ever dealt with "death" on a personal level. My family made decisions just as you suggested. Fortunately, the decisions were left to my siblings and I, as well as my mother. I don't even want to think of what I would feel if my mother transitioned. I know we will all eventually transition yet I don't want that to occur any time soon. It is a blessing to know that there is a Memorial Maker who can relate to the emotional aspect of death as well as the practical side of honoring the life of our loved ones.
Stanya